What are Heavenly Hellos? Heavenly Hellos are little "hi's" from a loved one who isn't physically here on Earth with us.
A friend we call Aunt Sue taught me about Heavenly Hellos. She has taught me that heaven is close. Sue's oldest son died when he was 15. Sue has a deep capacity to love and comfort. I am really lucky to have an Aunt Sue (many of us claim her as our own and we can all share.) Her experience with several losses and her choice to handle them with a perspective beyond right now has made life richer.
As I have learned to navigate without my husband physically here, I have asked Aunt Sue several questions and she and other close friends and family have helped me recognize "heavenly hellos." It takes practice to recognize heavenly hellos but it gets easier and I see them everywhere. To some extent it is a choice to see them.
If you are open to heavenly hellos, keep reading. Seriously, don't beat yourself up if you feel you aren't having them. It takes practice to learn to recognize them. It is an individual journey.
Let's lay a bit of foundation here about heavenly hellos. My husband and I have been both religious and spiritual and we believed together that our relationship extended after this life. We expected this reality to occur after we died when we were both really, really old (darn it, that didn't happen.) This is our belief in family ties and eternity.
I want to offer a less religious view also for those of you unsure. I have found a lot of help in listening to Krista St. Germain's "Widowed Mom Podcast." In episode #34 she talks about beliefs and relationships in a nonreligious way. Link to the podcast HERE. She tells a story of when she realizes it is her choice in how to think of her relationship with her husband who passed away.
Quoted from Episode #34 of the "Widowed Mom Podcast":
And I remember sitting in my parent’s cabin. I was with my daughter who was 15 at the time, and we were looking at the view from the cabin and I made a comment. It was right after the anniversary of his death. I made a comment about how I wished that Hugo could be there with us, and she just turned to me like, she didn’t even think about it, and she said, “Mama, he is with us.”And it was one of those moments where I realized I was creating separation between him and me with my brain. Because I was thinking that he wasn’t there. I was thinking that I wished he was there, he were there. My daughter wasn’t feeling that separation. She was feeling closeness because she was choosing to believe that he was there.That’s our option. You can think of him as far away, or you can think of him as right there with you. You can think of him as disconnected or you can think of him as part of you. I hear clients all the time too or in my Facebook group where people will say, “Oh, I’m so sad that he’s missing this, that he doesn’t get to see my daughter walk down the aisle, or that he doesn’t get to see my new grandbaby.”
Yes, we can choose to believe that he doesn’t see those things, or we can choose to think that he does. It’s our choice. We don’t need permission from anybody to think about him and his presence in our lives as we want to, in a way that serves us. Why not choose to believe that he’s close to you? Why not choose to believe that he’s with you? What’s the downside?
I don’t think there is one.
Step 1: Choose to see your late family member as involved and near. Just be open to the idea.
Some possible heavenly hellos:
Anything that reminds you of them
Finding the perfect whatever at the thrift store, flea market, or other store
Hearing a song you both loved or that reminds you of him/her
Someone helping you with a task
Accomplishing something hard and being awesome
Finding pennies or coins
Seeing a bird or butterfly
Rainbows
Unicorns- just kidding. I was just sounding a bit like a 5th grader with the rainbows and butterflies thing.